Just a quickie...

Went to the Museum of Natural History today....WOW it was the most fantastic museum I've ever been to! I could have spent days in there! I haven't seen 'Night at the Museum' but I'll have to now to see what he gets up to in there. They had actual dinosaur fossils on display and the best collection of stuffed and mounted animals from all over the world I had ever seen. I would love to be a curator in a place like that.
The history of humans and human evolution was also great-they had exhibits on world religions and a good section on the history of the african people. I never really learnt about that stuff before so it was all very interesting for me.

I'm going to Rochester tomorrow which will be good :-) Then I have to sort myself out for what I'm doing when I get back to NY. I've started applying for jobs online but without a work visa they probably will bin them straightaway. Fingers crossed though!

Oh one weird thing that happened today-I met the guy who designed the t-shirt I was wearing! I'm wearing the one with the cupcake saying 'AH MUNNA EAT CHOO!' and he called out to me 'I designed your t-shirt!' and I thought he said 'who?' so I was like 'umm...I got it from threadless.com' and then he's like 'No I mean ME, I did!' so I talked to him for a little while...that was pretty cool. He seemed happy to see one out and about being worn :-P

Took a long walk through Central Park yesterday. I know I said before it wasn't very beautiful but that's being too superficial to say that. Inside it really is quite pretty even though all the trees have dropped their leaves. Bethesda (sp?) fountain and terrace was especially beautiful. Of course my camera decided not to work so I don't have pictures of it. I'll have to go back. The Mall was very beautiful-it's one of those 'New York Scenes'. Reminded me a little of the walkway up to Archibald Fountain in Hyde Park (Sydney).

I would have gone up the Empire State building this afternoon for dusk but it was already too dark by the time I left the museum (I was there for over 5 hours). Oh well. Another thing to do when I get back.

Went to Madam Tussauds yesterday night. That was creepy. Some of the figures looked very wrong but some of them were so lifelike and just standing around you weren't sure if the people around you were real or not without specifically looking at them.

Sorry my thoughts are all over the place...I have a lot on my mind at the moment.

Without getting too far into my inner workings, it feels like I'm out of place here. I'm not living here or part of the city, just sort of resting on it's surface. I don't belong here and it isn't a very welcoming city...in one way it's nice to slip back into obscurity but I have this want/need to feel *part* of something and this city can't do that for me. I'm not part of anything here-I'm just another face in the crowd and all they want from me is my money. Only one person has actually talked to me as if they were interested in what I was saying and that was a stranger on the subway. It's incredibly lonely here, despite beind surrounded by millions of people. I wish I didn't always look like I was pissed off or whatever but THAT'S JUST HOW MY FACE LOOKS!!! Especially when I'm not thinking about anything or making an effort to look 'happy'. I'm worried it makes me look unapproachable (actually I have been told a couple of times already on this adventure that that's the case) but really I don't know what to do to avoid that?!? I can't go around with a goofy smile on my face all day because a) it's fake and b) it would hurt after a while. I'm enjoying the things that I am seeing in New York but deep down I miss Anchorage. It felt like home to me...
I don't think I can go back though until I work my head out. It's a situation that hurts me because I am at the same time so happy but also crushed because I have unrealistic expectations and my head in the clouds. Need to come back down to earth and see things for how they are and accept it and move on. Too cryptic and I'm rambling...SORRY!

Take care back in Aus (as the mercury gets closer and closer to 30C) and keep your fingers crossed for me. I have to go pack!
xxx lisha